Nervous and Running

31 Dec

So, as publication day fast approaches, I am becoming increasingly nervous about everything.  Will anyone turn up to the launch party?  What will I wear?  Will people like the book?  Will they like me?  These and many more infinitely sillier questions and scenarios are filling my head more and more each day as the 5th draws near.  In fact, there is barely room for a single sensible non-book-launch-related thought to pass through my addled brain on any given day once my tasks of twin-management are complete.  I feel like I did at school before a big exam or a bit like I did during the build-up to my wedding day: a bag of nerves. 

The Grit Doctor says:

Nerves are to be treasured.  They mean that you still give a shit.  Running is the key to keeping them in check.

So, yep you guessed it, I am trying to run them out of my system.  It is amazing how I start a run full of all these petty anxieties and how during the run they gradually get filtered out until once again my mind is empty of worry and fear and I am strangely relaxed yet energised.  They creep back though!  Until the next run.  I think I am going to have to run a couple of hours before the party in order to enjoy it to the max.  I did the same on my wedding day.  It was late October and my sister and I went for a run in the rain on Hampstead Heath for a good hour that morning.  It definitely helped calm the nerves! and although of course I had a lovely dress and make-up, I like to think that at least part of my glow that day, and certainly my experience of joy and pleasure, was enhanced by that run in the rain.   I hope I can repeat the experience on the 5th wearing the same beautiful wedding gown.

Ha ha ha, gotcha!  Of course I won’t be wearing that dress.  Just a normal frock yet to be bought/borrowed/stolen….

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