Without running I am…

4 May

Sluggish

Greedy for Junk food

Lazy

Impatient

Moody

A FAT BITCH

So, its been two weeks since the Wexford 10k and as a result of my gammy toe, I haven’t been on a single run.  Wow is it starting to show, and not just on my more wobbly than usual thighs.  I have been sluggish, moody and impatient – poor O and the twins and my agent! who have all been at the receiving end of my moaning and complaining.

I just had a shocking morning with the twins.  Sometimes it seems as though they have made a secret pact with eachother (and quite possibly the devil himself) to humiliate me in public, darting off in opposite directions hell bent on destroying everything within reach and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake – making me look like I am a thoroughly incompetent mother.  I have noticed with alarm that no singleton babies behave like this, it is a peculiarly twin thing, they are so much more feral and wild.  Or maybe its just our pair.  I am terrified about going on a ‘play-date’ this afternoon with a new friend I met through the childminder.  She has no idea what a mistake she has made inviting us all over for what is usually the worst part of their day.  I bet we will not be invited back…

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help wishing that they were a little bit older, you know, at the stage when I can have a conversation with them to establish what it is that is causing them such extreme upset, just to the stage where after every meal I don’t have to spend an hour in tears peeling mince meat off the walls, just to the stage when they can walk out of the front door and down the steps on their own two feet…  What really frightened me recently was when my mother said, “these are the best days that you will want back!” Really? Is this true?  Will I wish this nightmare to return someday or is my mother just barking mad?

This is why I NEED to run.  To cope with the demands of the twins and to escape them and anything to do with them for that blissful hour when I can feel in the action of running, that I am free.

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13 Responses to “Without running I am…”

  1. Maryanne May 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    Ahh I really feel for you. Hope the toes heals soon. M x

  2. Renee Finlay-Notman May 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    It took my hubby a couple of weeks to catch onto why I ran at dinner time! With 4 boys I considered that time better than any indulgence! Now I have to run in the mornings before work – which still keeps me on track… But I miss escaping that stressful dinner time! 😉

    Maybe there’s something else you can do to keep fit. Why don’t you try riding a bike or doing a yoga class until that toe heals?

    Good luck.

  3. Bonnie May 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    I feel like that and it’s only been three days. I have another day before I can run again following teeth extractions. I hate not being able to run. Hope you are soon back to it.

  4. Alison Sciberras May 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm #

    Hello Ruth – I accidently stumbled over RFBR back in January and since February have been in training for the Mother’s Day Classic 8km run in Brisbane on 13 May. My diet has been fantastic and my weight was just starting to tumble (72kg and now 70kg – with my goal being to lose 10kg).

    I started off walking as instructed by RFBR, and didn’t take long before I was jogging and then running. I was doing 4km, and then 5km and even got over 6km. I was also doing some sessions in the gym.

    UNTIL ….. last Sunday I woke up and decided TODAY (2 weeks out from my 8km run) was the first time I would attempt to run 8km. I planned my route and off I went. (I have to explain here that we had had quite a bit of rain in the previous 36 hours and therefore there were quite a few puddles on the footpaths.) I was running well, feeling good, had run through a few puddles and even ran around one or two. I got to my half way point 4km, stopped for about 2 min to do some stretching and was feeling GREAT knowing that I was half way and still had plenty of energy to get me back home. So about 500 metres in to my return I decided that the puddle that I had ran around on the way out I would run through it (as running around on the grass turned out to be a muddy option) – WRONG – the puddle was deeper than I anticipated and my left foot didn’t see the hole on the bottom. Initially I thought I had just twisted my ankle until I started to walk thinking it will come good in a minute and then I’ll be on my way again. I wasn’t able to walk much further – I hobbled to a near by public swimming pool where I phoned my husband.

    Xrays revealed that I had fractured my foot as well as tearing ligaments. I am out of action for 4-6 weeks and won’t be able to run on 13 May :(.

    I sat on my couch eating chocolate and feeling sorry for myself. I feel your pain too – Sluggish, Greedy for Junk food, Lazy, Impatient, Moody, A FAT BITCH! But if I let this little setback make me feel like this all that HARD BLOODY work over the past 4 months has been a waste of time. So although I cannot run today I am going to the swimming pool. I have been in touch with my gym and they are going to set a program for me to do whilst my foot heals. And I am going to find another run to compete in and REFOCUS for my fitter, slimmer future.

    Alison
    PS – On Tuesday after my accident I finally received my RFBR T-Shirt!!
    PPS – Enjoy those boys of yours no matter their age! Each age group presents its own challenges – in some ways your mum could be right!

    • gritdoctor May 5, 2012 at 8:56 am #

      thanks so much for sharing this! and yesterday afternoon (after my rant and their nap) one of the twins threw his arms round me and gave me a kiss for the first time and my heart melted. i will miss that moment forever so i now know what mum is talking about. i hope your foot heals quickly and we can be out and about in our RFBR teeshirts on opposite sides of the world before too long! x

  5. jadda May 4, 2012 at 10:11 pm #

    Maybe more wine while the toe heels? Just kidding! One more week to go, you can do it! And just to make you feel a little bit better, my little boy who is 19 months is a bit on the *wild* side to put it mildly. Its a secret plot against mothers to make them look awful in public I swear!
    Running to vent my stress allows me to calmly push my screaming child through the grocery store afterwards and simply not care!

    • gritdoctor May 5, 2012 at 8:57 am #

      so so true! running is ESSENTIAL for frazzled mums with *wild* toddlers. thanks for sharing this x

  6. roisin70 May 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Having a 23yo son and now 2 yo and 1 yo sons i can say your mum is right! Their lives go by in a flash, you just want to rewind and play it all back in slow motion! There are days i feel like not coming back from my run, but once im back, have a shower and rejoin the madness, i wouldnt change a thing!

  7. Margie May 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm #

    Oh I hear you on the twin thing. Twins are such a blessing. But so hard at times. I took my two year old girls to the supermarket yesterday in their princess dresses (filthy, wasn’t worth the fight to take them off them) and if i hadn’t excercised that morning i would have not been able to deal with the stress of it all. I had so many excercise endorphins racing around me and consequent love for humanity! that I could cope with the grumpy people they got slightly in the way of. People who couldn’t even raise a smile at the two grubby princesses happily pushing baby trolleys and chatting non stop babble to each other. If that sight doesnt make you smile then nothing will. Dont get me wrong, I dont expect the world to stop and coo at my babies-I barely registered children around me before I had them, its just I also don’t expect them to be blanked or glared at if there does happen to be an interaction (i’m sure i never did that before having children….at least I hope I wasn’t that bad!)

    I dont care about my figure, my health, fitting into my jeans-these are all secondary benefits in comparison to the main one-excercise makes me into the kind of person i should be.

    Ok, i do care about those jeans. They are sitting in the cupboard tormenting me. They are a size 8 and maybe i should just throw them out. Its never going to happen at this rate (McDonalds three times this week…..why? ) i have to start doing the shopping online again on a sunday night.

    • gritdoctor May 8, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

      haha i totally understand the junk food thing, sometimes the urges take over all rational thought! loved your message it reall made me laugh! x

  8. Joanne May 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    You had me at: Sluggish..Greedy for Junk food…Lazy…Impatient..Moody..A FAT BITCH!!!!!

    I am all these things when I don’t exercise. Made myself go out today in the pouring rain and feel all the better for it. Was sick for a while and couldn’t run and ended up back at square one. Today was starting again for me and already my mood has improved! Thanks for posting this as sometimes it just feels like everyone else finds it easy whilst I struggle!

  9. Jane May 8, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    I haven’t run for a month and only started at the end of Feb, so was feeling a liitle depressed with myself..anyway gave 10k to run at beginning of June so figured I needed to get my large arse off the sofa (which I did having had a good nights sleep! Because 2 kids (4 & 2 1/2 )were at grandmothers yehh for 1 night!!!

    Anyway took off expecting to stop after 10 mins and there I was still running at 30 mins…did 5k straight away..and again 2 days later… The grit doctor is back, thanks a million!!

    J

    • gritdoctor May 9, 2012 at 9:39 am #

      WELL DONE and best of luck with the 10k. Let me know how you get on x

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