Third Day of Gritmas

22 Dec

A day of quiet contemplation in the house of God is very much the order of the day for the Grit Doctor…

So I can sit down and be quiet and not eat or drink for a full hour. And thank God that the shopping is all done, the food bought and everything is set for the week ahead. And to give thanks – for my wonderful family, a loving husband and completely angelic twin sons.

Alternatively, while in said church, I can kneel down and pray for a miracle: that God will choose buy and then wrap all the presents for me, do the cooking, heal all family rifts, replenish my bank account, and magic away the extra 6 thigh pounds which have appeared from nowhere during the last 5 days, whilst potty training the last twin who insists on shouting from the top of his lungs on a daily basis, ‘I AM GOING TO WEAR NAPPIES F.O.R.E.V.E.R.’ (including while in church). Thanks for that. God.

Gritmas Tip 3

Get a crib and ram the nativity story down the haribo-addled necks of your little ones, to distract them for a millisecond from their incessant present-related demands.

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