Processed Crap

6 Jan

This is an area which can be incredibly confusing because basically almost every morsel that passes our lips has been processed to a certain degree: everything in a jar or tin has been through a ‘process’ to get there, butter had to be churned first and loaves of bread aren’t found hanging from trees, because cooking is of course another process, and so to attempt to eliminate all processed foods completely from our diets, would be wholly unrealistic.

That being said, processed foods are a huge part of ‘problem obesity’ because those supermarket staples that form part of our weekly shop – frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, pies, lasagnes, microwave meals, bumper packs of custard creams (pictured), cakes, muffins, more cakes and trifles – are made up in factories, often layered up with intoxicating combinations of trans fats, sugars and salt, not to mention all the preservatives, additives, flavourings, MSG and other cheap gunk that gets added in while it makes its way along the conveyor belt.

Processed Crap Signposts

1.If the list of ingredients reads more NASA experiment than foodstuff
2.It doesn’t even look like food
3. Close your eyes and visualise its provenance. Gambolling in a field? Falling from a tree? Is that burning factory vat plastic I can smell?
4.There is enough packaging to trouble your conscience and give your recycling bin a meltdown
5.It can go from frozen to ‘edible’ in three minutes flat and calls itself shepherd’s pie
6.It is eye-wateringly cheap
7.There are a thousand of them displayed at key points around your supermarket and they’re always two for the price of one. Oh, and then there’s yet another opportunity to buy them again just at the tills …
8.It pops up on your screen at the end of your online shopping order ‘on offer’ every time
9.It can double up as toilet bowl cleaner
10.It makes you feel a little bit like you just had a hit of crack

The Grit Doctor says

You can eat more of what you love when you cook it from scratch and move more in between


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