Cut The Crap

9 Jan

The Grit Doctor translates some popular diets

5:2 – Live like an anorexic for two days a week and lose weight. Surprise, surprise.
Alkaline Ash – Steal vast quantities of litmus paper from your kids’ school chemistry lab for peeing on to make sure your body’s pH is bang on the money.
Paleo – Because evolution never really happened did it?
Sugar Free – Eat only, err, meat and fats sugarkins. Beyond deranged.
Dukan – Don’t. Can’t.
Atkins – Eat protein and fat and enjoy smelly breath, insomnia and constipation. WARNING: Heart attacks and kidney failure possible. Bad health guaranteed.
The Zone – Remove any joy and spontaneity from mealtimes. Get degrees in nutrition and maths so you can get those carb/protein ratios bang on every time. And you’ll need to buy back the scales that I’m going to make you give away later, as you’ll need them to weigh your food.
South Beach – Atkins renamed, revised and revamped.
Raw Food – How to lose friends and alienate people. Never EVER enjoy a normal meal again.
Juice – Regress to babyhood and allow no solids to pass your lips for a week. WARNING: Expect to faint. A lot. Or die.
Detox – Binge like a fiend and punish yourself afterwards through starvation.
Breatharian – Live on, err, fresh air and sunlight? Guaranteed death if followed successfully.
Fruitarian – Exist only on fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds. Mmm. Not God’s Way.

The Grit Doctor says

It doesn’t take a nutritionist or a scientist to tell you that any eating regime which prescribes excluding entire food groups can be neither sane nor healthy, let alone sustainable or realistic.

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3 Responses to “Cut The Crap”

  1. James Finneran January 9, 2015 at 10:25 am #

    Whens the new book Available on digital format

    Sent from my iPhone Regards James

    >

    • gritdoctor January 9, 2015 at 10:26 am #

      You can pre-order the digital version on amazon and it will be published alongside the paperback next Thursday 15th Jan!

  2. Linda January 9, 2015 at 11:54 pm #

    All the above mentioned diets and millions of others like it are just tricks. See through the smoke and mirrors guys they are tricks, just cut the crap! Simples.

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